Sanjay Shukla

Note: Zombies, who are in a delusion that they possess ‘ULTIMATE TRUTH’ (as told by their Gods, Babas, Books or Prophets), can stop reading this right now. Because someone, who can kill others (or ready to be killed) for their delusional beliefs, will never read anything honestly. For the rest, this story will surely be a food for thought.  Read on…. Let’s begin!

A Suicide Bomber arrives at the entrance of the Heaven at the same time as his victims.

He was shocked to see his victims also at the entrance. Pointing to all the 36 victims he had just bombed along with himself at a ‘chat bhandar’ (in Hyderabad), the suicide bomber asks God, “What are these infidels doing here my lord? I thought I was going to Heaven alone.”

“He murdered us!” shouts a woman victim.

“Don’t let him in!” calls another.

God, sitting on a huge throne at the entrance to the Heaven, told the bomber, “It always happens this way.”

Bomber: “But why?”

God: “It is simple maths,” “The normal transport speed from the earth to Heaven is constant. So everybody who dies at precisely the same time reach here at the same time.”

Bomber: “Oh! I did not think of that.”

All the restless bomb victims started shouting “Justice! We want justice!”

God: “Stop shouting, let me proceed”. Turning to the bomber He asked, “What’s your explanation on this?”

Bomber: “Praise be to God,” Falling on his knees he said, “peace be upon all, I have blown them all including myself for you my Lord.”

God: “I don’t remember asking you to do it. Any other reason? But, a real good one please!” Staring into the bomber’s eyes God asks “Do I know everything?”

Bomber: “Yes, you do my Lord. GOD IS GREAT! ”

God: “Then why is it that I don’t know of a real good reason to kill people for me?”

Bomber: “Infidels!”. He shouted. “They are all infidels!”

A victim, who was just 3 years old, asked his mother, “What is a Infidel?”

Bomber: “Somebody who does not agree with my God and His true path!”

A victim turned to God and exclaimed, “I don’t! So let me blow him up”

God: “Up here… I am the One who award punishments and rewards.”

Bomber: “Then no doubt I have earned an eternal reward in this Heaven,”

“Never!” shouted a victim.

Bomber: “I earned my eternal reward with my life!”

God: “Eternal, yes, but there is a disagreement about the place.

Bomber: “But, my elders, advisors and religious superiors assured me Heaven. They said that I would go straight to heaven for blowing up these Infidels including myself.”

God: “I know that, it is one of the disadvantages of being all-knowledgeable.” Taking out a small notepad, God said, “See. I have a list of your elders, advisors and religious superiors. Now a big question… who should get into Heaven, you or them?”

Bomber: “Me and me alone. Surely not these infidels who never followed my path – the true path towards the LORD”

Victims in shouted unison, “We want justice!”

God: “That’s what I specialize in.” He turned to the bomber again and asked. “What do you mean by an Infidel?”

“They believe in different things than I do, particularly about You!”

God: “Why do you think it is possible for people to believe different things, even about Me?”

“Because they are wrong!” answers the bomber.

“No!” God screamed, “It is because I decided people should believe different things.”

Bomber: “You did?”

God:  “Am I all-powerful or not?”

Bomber: “Praise be to Lord, of course, you are…”

God:  “Then, if I don’t want them to believe different things, they would not be able to?”

Bomber: “Oh! Do you mean they have a right to disagree with me and my religion – the True Religion; the only path to Heaven?”

God: “How else do you think that they can get away with it?”

Bomber: “Hmm, I did not think of this,”

God: “I know that. Now, do you know I have rules?”

Bomber: “Oh, I know all of them by heart.”

God: “How about the one about do not KILL?”

Bomber: “I did not know that applies to infidels!”

“He’s guilty! He killed us all. Send him to hell”, screamed a victim.

God asked the bomber, “Do you think I made you?”

Bomber: “Yes, you did. God is great!”

God: “Do you think I made them – your infidels?”

Bomber: “I don’t know why but, Yes, I have to admit You made them all and everything else.”

God: “Now, what would happen if everybody decided to blow up people who do not agree with them?”

Bomber: “There would be even more blessed martyrs, my Lord”

A dead victim comments: “You mean crazy people!”

Bomber starts moving forward towards the Heaven says, “Then I can enter Heaven?”

God blocking his way said, “I am not finished yet,” He looked back at the bomber and asked, “Do you know we’ve never had any bombing in Heaven? It’s a very peaceful place. And you know why we did not have a bombing here?”

Bomber: “Because it is Heaven?”

God: “Yes, but there’s another reason as well. It is mainly because I never allowed a bomber inside.”

Bomber: “But I am done being a bomber. Now, I am a martyr. I am not a bomber anymore!”

God: “Have you not decided to be a bomber, did you or not?”

Bomber: “My elders, religious superiors told me to do it!”

God: “But you agreed or you would not have done it. Am I right?”

Bomber: “Praise be to Lord, you are all-wise.”

God: “Thanks. Then you will understand that once a bomber, always a bomber.”

Bomber: “Forgive me, my Lord. I was wrong.”

A man in the deceased crowd: “Never! He is a murderer!”

God: “I have to agree with them,”

Bomber: “With them? With these infidels?”

“Please, stand aside,” God said to the bomber. Then, told the victims, “You can all go in.” They all said, “Thank you, God.” and went to Heaven.

The bomber protested. He said, “But I am the one who deserves to go to Heaven!”

God: “Let us first talk about it, I believe you said you killed all those people for me?”

Bomber: “Yes, I did.”

God: “Do you think I let them be born so you can kill them?”

Bomber: “But look how they turned out!”

God: “Is that for you to decide or for me to decide?”

Bomber: “For you, Lord, I admit it. I was a fool and wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me!”

God: “I do forgive you, but I also gave you the freedom to decide who you would become. And I never change Heaven’s policy.”

Bomber: “Praise be to my Lord, tell me, what is it?”

God: “No bombers, especially the suicide bombers are let into the Heaven.”

With that, God raised his scepter and the unfortunate Bomber’s soul was dropped to his unexpected fate.